#3 Aging

Aging...what does that mean for a tetraplegic? Who knows! The possibilities are endless, much like aging for those who are able-bodied. There is an advantage to being disabled and growing older. I am getting a little more comfortable with not knowing what tomorrow holds. After all, look what happened in a few fateful seconds and the following three and a half years of rebuilding, rehabing.

Not much different than the process every person faces when they age. Early exposure to knowing that aging is inevitable and not under our control means dealing with the conflict between what we expect and what is. That conflict came earlier than expected. I know that the continuing changes that will occur as I age with tetraplegia will be faced differently. I'm already dealing with unrealized expectations of my body, from its appearance to altered function. Believe me, I'm not asking the question any longer, 'what more can possibly happen'.

Not that I have reached a point of complete acceptance of my body alterations - appearance, feeling, and function, but expectations are dropping off my radar. Without expectation, observation and surprise remain. Maybe, I hope, this is a precursor to making peace with change. Perhaps a forced jumpstart on the process.

#2 Seating

I don't know how many times I've commented, "it's OK, I have my own seat", meaning my wheelchair. No worries about rounding up another chair in a crowded venue. Most theaters have special seating areas for wheelchairs. I have been to two theaters that actually do not charge for tickets if you are in a wheelchair. When you think about it, this makes sense since many people in wheelchairs bring someone with them, a paying customer who requires a seat. Wow, now this is a real benefit!

It's also kind of fun to respond to the command "everyone stand please" with 'I think I'll sit this one out'. Or, when attending a conference that begins with, "lets stand up and take a deep relaxing breath followed by wake up exercises" that you have always been embarrassed to do prior to using a wheelchair. Now you have a legitimate reason for non-participation and can simply observe others being embarrassed.

Finally, no one ever asks you to please give your seat to someone else or to move over several seats to make room for more attendees...and, you are not viewed as being rude or non-compliant. Often, bringing your own chair allows you to go to the head of the line when boarding airplanes or rides at an amusement park.

So, I'll keep on bringing my custom seat that has been molded like a well fitting glove and designed for comfort. Enjoy your seat and I'll keep mine.

#1 Parking

Close parking is a well known benefit of being disabled. I remember what a luxury it was to have a reserved, close parking spot at work when I had surgery on my right knee. I hung the temporary handicap placard from my rear view mirror, thinking how lucky I was to not be out there hunting for a parking spot!

Today, I look with skepticism at those parked in handicapped parking when there are no spaces left for my primadonna self in her wheelchair. Are they really disabled? Looks like they are walking just fine to me! Thoughts surface of the scene from the movie, Fried Green Tomatoes, when the main character, Evelyn Couch, is cut off from her intended parking space by two giggling teenage girls in their car.

Evelyn cries "Towanda" and uses her car as a battering ram as she declares, "I'm older than you and I have more insurance", and continues to crash into the teen's car as the girl and her giggling friend turn around in absolute horror to see what has happened. Where does all of that emotion and anger come from?

In Evelyn's case, her friend, Izzy Threadgood, asks her ,"How many of those hormone pills are you taking?" as Evelyn tells her the story of what she did. In my case, I'm judging another's disability through my tetraplegic, righteously indignant viewpoint and expressing a bit of anger at the comparative and obviously observable price I have paid for the "privilege" of special parking. I catch the thought I'm having as "this is one h***ava price to pay for that blue placard!!!"

So, in a nutshell, without a choice in the matter, I am "in it for the parking"!!! Wanna trade places? Have I got a parking spot for you!!!